... how accurate...

i was reading blogs when i came across this personality test web. yeah! i love taking personality tests. though the results are not totally reliable, it's great to know more about myself. so... here are the result of the test i have taken.

big 5 personality test

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (72%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Friendliness (59%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex). Orderliness (77%) high which suggests you are overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun. Emotional Stability (64%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Openmindedness (50%) medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

"make the impossible happen"

...conclusion...

life is sad

it's the hard truth

although it's pessimistic

what matters is we have the optimistic mind

it's the way we handle tasks counts

right?

...HOT...

hot Hot HOT HOT.. the weather is pissing me off. why on earth did i decide to have long hair about one and a hlaf year ago? i must be out of my mind!!!! my hair is irritating me. i do not want to tie my hair up that often cos it will damage my hair. but if i dont, i will be breathing out steam. should i just snap my hair short and i mean real short until i cannot tie my hair up anymore? i am thinking of doing so after my A. anyway, what's most important is i am going to the hair salon either during this weekend or next weekend. =) i cannot wait.

results Results RESULTS RESULTS. everyone talks about efficiency and productivity. if you fail to perform up to expectations, you will be eliminated. how cruel can this world get? sometimes when we fail, it is not because we do not try enough. we may have tried our best but due to the lack of luck and probably, we have used the wrong method to do things, we fail. is it fair to judge people based on results? i remembered that there is this saying that goes, "it is not the end product that matters. it is the process." bullshit. i dont see many situations proving that this saying is true. i agree that setting targets are good. it may motivate us to excel and improve but at least we should set realistic ones right? what's the point of spending a portion of your time, planning targets that are unreachable? "when you aim for the moon, even if you fail, you will still land on the star " ARGH!!!!! bullshit again. if you cannot reach the moon, you will be screwed by the high authories. "but i improved". wake up!!!! that is not sufficient. "i want to see a greater improvement" how greedy man can get? just face the reality.

there's AMI tomorrow. yeah!!!!! i cannot believe that anwar is out. he is one of my favourites for this season. i dont agree that his vocals and performance are worse than scott's. i want scott to get out of the competition this week. he is an eye-sore.

...lazy...

i am in a lazy mood this week. i just want to sleep, lag and eat all day long. where has my drive gone to?

listened to a total of 102 SC elects' speeches yesterday. i find the second part very draggy. time was crawling. argh!!!! nothing unusual, like a elect fell off the stage or a elect forgot his/her speech, happened yesterday. i only rememebered there were alot of singing which many of us felt that the elects' speech day was becoming into a audition for Singapore Idol. i was impressed with this guy but not by his speech but his magic trick. haha... i dont understand how they work but what is most important is they always make me to go "woah". i always love magical stuff that cannot be explain. so cool... besides that, my fellow junior's speech left a deep impression on me. i dont find any fault with the words that she used. those words were to symbolize everyone has the potential to be a leader. why were some of the audience picking on her? it just showed how narrow-minded they were. i understand that when you are really into something, you will tend to be on defensive mood when others are commenting on your work. you wll want to hear praises and not criticism. you may get irrational and emotional when things dont go your way. if so, i am sorry to say that you will fail to be a leader cos a leader should be rational and not let his/her emtions get into his/her way. so please reflect!

i do NOT want the extra 8 seconds. NOOOOOOooooo.... i was disappointed with my performance today. what was going on in my little pea brain? how could i allow such a tragic to happen on me? i was defeated by a mild 8 seconds. if not, my records will be perfect. i was given a tight slap on my face when she read my timing. my heart sank to the first floor, as quoted from mr chng.

eileen said today is the BIG word day but to me it is more of a thinking day. 2 things happened today, which showcaseed my performance for the past few months, made me reflected. when was the last time i felt a sense of satisfication in my work? even i could not recall. i have been living a day by a day without any aim. others have found their aim in life and adapted successfully to changes, while i am still struggling behind, refusing to move. i have let down many people and i hate to see the disappointment in their eyes. i have been telling myself many a time not to let history repeat itself but i am getting nowhere. what's the point with all these encouragement but with no concrete plans to follow? i ran to my bookshelf and dug out the "who moved my cheese?" book. i read it and felt much better, a release of negative feelings. i know what i should do now but unsure if it will work. okay. stop it!!! stop thinking of fear. fear slows down the process and withdraws people from trying. just go and give it my best shoot. i just hope the others will not frightened by fear too. =D

"what would you do if you arent afraid"

...feelings...

a smile across my face after i finished it. sense of accomplishment and my time well-spent. i am proud of myself. how many times can you witness karen, the lazy bum, glued her eyes to a small, squarish, thick stack of papers? in history, twice only. once was when i was reading the harry potter series and now, the dan brown series. the more i read, i the more i realised his stories are more or less about the same. however, i am captivated by the thrills and smart twists in the stories. =) like how things started to fall in place when the story is ending, how he cleverly made unexpected situations possible and everything. cool....

after reading digital fortress, it came upon me how easily a human mind can be corrupted unknowingly. we always assume that no matter what we do, we always do it in the best interest of everyone, probably paying more attention on the well-beings of our loved ones. however, we fail to weigh the consequences of our actions. sometimes, people turn to the evil side just to achieve a particular motive which they believe to be for the good of mankind. they felt the ends justify the means, so why not? bullshit! i do not believe there is only a solution to a problem. be flexible!!!! if there exists only a soultion to a problem, why are there so many alternatives methods that we can use to solve simple math problems? model drawing, diagrams... sometimes, we just need to think out of the box, jump out of our comfort zone, observe and listen. one day, we will find the solution.

is it possible for one to forget the past and move on with life? if the past is that easy to forget, why does memories exist? humans are weird. the more you want to get rid of something, the harder it is for you to do so. why? sometimes, i really wish there is this device that can erase all the bad, painful, sad, horrible memories away from my brain. that will leave more space for happy memories isnt? i just want to keep going forward. is that too much of a request?

why am i writing in such a groomy mood? i read in one of my friends' blog, laughter is the best medicine on earth. =) i agree!!!! someone does not believe that a person like me actually fall sick. HA. i am just a plain jane afterall. nothing fantastic. nothing amazing. just the ordinary me.

"laugh more. it helps."

...not again...

i was burnt out during last weekend. had PA orientation 2 on sat. i walked a total of around 6 to 7 km in one and a half hour just to walk from pit no. 19 to pit no. 68. argh!!!! my legs were aching. if we knew that the pits are soooooo deep into the park, we would not alight later. i did not stay for long and went to meet my 4J clique.

i was freaking late. i felt very bad that they all waited for me before eating. i was so touched. the worst part was i had to let the 2 birthday girls wait for me. omg... what logic is this?? i am so very sorry guys. i miss them all soooo much. sometimes, i really hope i can return to 16 years old. though sec4 was a mad rush for me, felt stressed up by both myself and the school, it was one of my best moments in life. ganging up together to go against kan, bad mouthing that stupid pe teacher who i forgot his name, the after-school-get-togethers and many many many more. i really appreciate the effort by everyone to remain in contact with one another. =) you girls rock! in the end, i reached home at 1230am. hahaz... so late...

played bball today for PE and i injured myleft middle finger. argh!!!! how irritating. i remembered i injuried my right middle finger somewhere in april last year too. april is my acciendent prone month. i thought the swell will go away after some rubbing. somehow the more i rub, the fatter the finger gets. argh!!!! it's so fat and red. my dad rubbed this chinese medicated oil for me and i could not stop shouting for help. it's horrible. not, my middle finger is bandaged like a ba zha. hahaz... hope it will be fine tomorrow.

"don't think too deep into things"

...rainy days...

i find rainy days frustrating. human behaviour is very unpredictable. i remember at the beginning of this year, the weather was extremely humid. everyone was complaining and praying for a single drop of rain. but now, it is the opposite. on my way out of school, i was caught in this downpour with jess. the walkway was completely USELESS! they might as well just destroy it. it does not shelter students from the rain. what a failure!!!! and the drainage system sucks totally. instead of getting wet shoes due to the rain, it was the flooding at the walkway that did the job.

i thought that was enough but heaven was not on my side today. my bus came pretty fast and i thought, "great! i can go home and take a nap,". but, the damn bus had to be caught in this stupid traffic jam at sixth ave. argh!!!!! it was a long stretch of vehicles and i could not figure the main cause of the jam from where i was then. maybe a car broke down or even worse, an accident. i started to picture the bloody imagines. i guessed i was too tired that i fell asleep unknowingly on the bus. hahaz...

the next moment when i woke up, i saw this traffic police ran all the way to the T-junction. i found him quite silly. i thought most of the traffic policemen travel on motorbikes. he could have drove it and wriggled his way through the traffic. hahaz... i should be nice. =)

finally when the bus managed to climb its way up the slope to the T-junction, i found out it was due to the fallen branches from the trees along the roads that caused the jam. ARGH!!!! negative example of mother nature. please do not follow. oops... what am i talking about???

this downpour lasted for a very long time. it only ended at most 2 hours ago. what a gloomy wednesday.

talking about blues, i seriously do NOT suffer from monday blues. it's not that i like school but my blues always happen in the mid-week. sickening... wednesday is neither here nor there. i am not very near nor very far from the weekend. argh!!! i hate this feeling of hanging in the mid-air. after crossing the wednesday mark, the rest of the week will be better days. let's hope the jap drama VCDs can cheer me up for the remainging days in this week. hahaz... =)

"you are a failure if you refuse to try"

...passion out...

it's april's fool day today but it's not happy at all.

i just read a blog. i am feeling quite sad. cannot help but to ask myself why did things turn up to be in this state? they always expects other people to do much better than them but it seems like the other people are disappointing them again and again. they know they have some faults but they do not bother to change or rather some people in the group do not see it as a flaw at all. they just hope the other people do not repeat the same mistakes ideally. who shall accept the blame for this failure?

the environment kills passion. how true can it get? it's good to be passionate about something because it drives you on to work hard, try hard and finally succeed. however, this passion will die when you never fail to meet with obstacles along the way. it's irritating and disturbing because these limitations make you want to quit. you just refuse to try anymore because somewhere in your mind you know that you will never succeed unless the obstacles are overcame. gradually, this passion dies on and you are no longer motivated to do anything. just sit down, collect dust, decompose and blend in with the surroundings. how sad life can be without a passion.

i guessed i have portrayed it in the wrong way and put people off. i cannot help it but to have high expectations on you always. asking too much? nope. just high expectations.

"keep the passion going"